Punk Rock Life

BMF gave me a 000017 today for his birthday. August 5, 2017


I have this wonderful string of August days that include some of my most beloved people’s birthdays. My mother on August 4th, my Shelby on August 7th and most of all my BMF today on August 5th.  He would have been a certain age but now he is ageless. When we were first together he didn’t feel his birthday was such a big day. He would say oh it’s just another day. I said that is ridiculous. Your birthday is the greatest day of your year! And from that first birthday we spent together we would celebrate and make his birthday a big deal every year. Sometimes it was just simple with a bottle of absinthe, crazy loud music and a deck of cards, sometimes a small party with family and cake coring, trips to see the Sex Pistols and Van Halen but in 2010 BMF had the biggest most epic punker birthday ever to happen as far as he was concerned. We thrived on it for a long time. He was in love with it!  We were going to try and top it, but we never did.

Now he’s gone and I’m alone on his special day. I plan to celebrate him quietly with marathon work on MusicFilter. He would have liked it. I started tonight to refresh and restore his box trilogy posts at MusicFilter. Those boxes represent so many things that were going on with BMF at the time in 2009. He built them with his hands and he enjoyed it and was so proud of the result. He was really very happy creating them while listening to his music, smoking cigarettes and sipping bourbon all night. When he finished his punk rock shed he placed the trilogy so he could always see them, open them and enjoy them. Now his remains rest inside one along with his special favorite items and photos and I can see and touch and love them. These are priceless artifacts and a reminder of this man I loved so much.

And then he rewards me with his signs. (more…)

I’m Crying. Punk Rock Life without BMF.

I’m crying for the mother who lost her only son, I’m crying for the father who lost his baby child, I’m crying for the sister who lost her loving man, I’m crying for the brother who couldn’t see the light, I’m crying, I’m crying, I’m crying. ~Lucinda
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Johnny Cash To Do List 1969


Vintage 2003 Audioscrobbler

Miss Chicky
Last Listened To
Sly and the Family Stone – Dance To The Music
826h:31m:45s ago
Last Listened To
Riffs – Outta My Mind
251h:08m:41s ago


The Audioscrobbler Project

became last.fm.

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A beautiful voice can never die.☠️❣️☠️


💋I see that 57 my love. Thank you as always. Maybe you were not a singer but your voice is everything to me. A BMF podcast from 2009:


This feels familiar and sad. She’s right, she will think of him every minute of every day.


To My Sweet Christopher,

You were the best father, husband and son-in-law. Your patience, empathy and love always showed through.

You had always said I saved you, that you wouldn’t be alive if it were not for me. My heart gleamed to see you happy, living and motivated. Excited for life. Doing everything you could to give back. We had the time of our lives in the last decade and I’m sorry, my sweet love, that I did not see what happened to you that night. I’m sorry you were alone, and I know that was not you, my sweet Christopher. Your children know that too, so you can rest in peace.

I’m broken, but I will stand up for you and I will take care of our beautiful babies. I will think of you every minute of every day and I will fight for you. You were right when you said we are soulmates. It has been said that paths that have crossed will cross again, and I know that you will come find me, and I will be here waiting.

I love you more than anyone has ever loved anyone in the history of loving and more than anyone ever will.

Always and forever,
Your Vicky

:Vicky Cornell’s letter to Chris Cornell as posted @ billboard on 5/24/17:


Like a Stone
On a cobweb afternoon
In a room full of emptiness
By a freeway I confess
I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we’ll die alone
And if we’re good, we’ll lay to rest
Anywhere we want to go
In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I’ll wait for you there
Like a stone
I’ll wait for you there
On my deathbed I will pray
To the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone
Who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The wine was bled
And there you led me on
In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I’ll wait for you there
Like a stone
I’ll wait for you there
And on I read
Until the day was gone
And I sat in regret
Of all the things I’ve done
For all that I’ve blessed
And all that I’ve wronged
In dreams until my death
I will wander on
In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I’ll wait for you there
Like a stone
I’ll wait for you there


Chris Cornell burned to ashes and buried next to Tommy Ramone’s memorial on May 26, 2017

And I too wait for you my love.

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A treasure found at the punk rock house.


Today I found this t-shirt packed away with what looks like goodwill clothes. I was so thrilled to see it. I bet he wore this shirt 1000 times. It was a favorite. And it has his life all over it. It was musty and I washed it and when I pulled it out of the dryer it felt like he was standing there ready to put it on.

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One year ago today…

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Found a BMF burn today.


Found a whole big container filled up with hundreds of Jeff’s cd burns. I shall have to go thru every single one, should take just about 10 years. I found a video of us from 2008 learning the proper way to drink absinthe. Real absinthe, the illegal kind before they legalized it. It was so wonderful to see him again with his perfect high spirit and pure true love ways. I can’t wait to watch it again.

He burned the following 22 songs, not positive when as the date is fucked up @ 12/31/1994. That is of course not right. There are no names on the 22 songs. I’ll have to listen to each and every one, but I already know it will be filled up with all the right songs to remind me of him tonight … along with another random movie pick called, Rabbit Hole. The part with the dog…crushes me with familiarity. His spirit is shining hard tonight. “You carry it around, always, like a brick in your pocket, it never goes away.” (more…)

Bye Jeff.:(💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💓💕💕💕💕💓💕

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